The Beatle Effect
As long as I’m starting the blog off right with posts about things I’m embarrassingly ignorant of/incompetent at (got to make a good impression), allow me to get something off my chest.
I don’t know the Beatles.
Not well, anyway. I could perhaps identify a few songs of theirs. For about half of those songs, I know the tune but not the lyrics. The other half: The lyrics but not the tune. I know who John Lennon was and what happened to him (because of “Mr. Holland’s Opus”), and I know who Ringo Starr is (because he has a cool name and has been on “The Daily Show”), and I think I know the other two guys’ names, but I won’t mention them here because if I get them wrong, I’ll be in trouble. I know I could identify them on TV because they had funny hairstyles and labeled their drum set. There are, of course, numerous references to them in our culture, many of which I can pinpoint. In fact, one of my favorite Barenaked Ladies songs is “Be My Yoko Ono.”
However, I have come to realize that ignorance of the Beatles is socially unacceptable. When I hear a song I don’t know and ask what it is, I can always tell it’s the Beatles from the dumbfounded/appalled stare I receive in response. This, what I call “The Beatle Effect,” is perhaps tripled when I make the mistake of not immediately liking whatever song of theirs I hear. When such a thing occurs in the presence of friends, I may ask, “What the hell is this?” Quite innocently, of course.
I asked that question today at work, and my friends were powerless against the Beatle Effect. One threw a bottle cap (and missed me by three feet). Another pointed at me and declared, “Don’t make me come over there!” which I suppose was a threat, although it did come from a fairly skinny fellow who studies law.
I know there is a super-duper ultimate Beatles CD set that I could simply buy and use to educate myself against the wrath of the Beatle Effect. Because of a conversation that took place in the middle of class today between my professor and another student, I know that this CD set has loads of special features that would help me learn the story of the Beatles. I could use the video component to learn to identify the name and face of each Beatle. If there are lyrics in the liner notes, I could use them to clarify any unclear words (warning: audio link, not for classrooms or computer labs) and memorize the classics.
I fear, however, that if I educate myself, learn the names, learn the songs, I may become guilty of a far worse crime: What if I don’t like the Beatles?
Would disliking them be better or worse than not knowing them? Would I become an even greater aberration than I already am? Would my friend with the bottle cap improve his aim?
These questions trouble me. Because you know what? I have heard a few Beatles songs, and I thought they were just OK.
(Please don’t hurt me.)
The threats directed at you weren’t strictly because it was The Beatles. It was because the song was “All You Need Is Love,” which is such a famous song that it’s tough to imagine someone avoiding it their whole life.
Don’t get any kind of super-mega boxed set, especially if you’re only meh about them. If you grab anything, you should get “1.” That’s a collection of all their songs that hit #1 and it’s a pretty good grab bag of stuff for casual fans. In fact, better yet, I’m pretty sure we have that CD so if I find it we’ll bring it to production night.
Comment by Kurt — January 19, 2006 @ 3:20 pm
Oh. Well, I did recognize it when the chorus came up.
And don’t worry, I’m not buying any boxed sets. I’m poor.
Comment by alexis — January 19, 2006 @ 5:05 pm
(Just testing the comments — last time I tried to comment it was all jacked up but worked anyway.)
Comment by alexis — January 25, 2006 @ 8:44 am
Checking the comments as well, because that’s apparently the cool thing to do.
Comment by Kurt — January 27, 2006 @ 12:53 am
Yep. I’m the cool kid everyone wants to be like. That’s me.
Comment by alexis — January 28, 2006 @ 10:17 pm